Thursday, January 12, 2012

Patricia Bubash's Successful Second Marriages

What makes second marriages work? Patricia Bubash, M.Ed. Licensed Professional Counselor, interviews nine married couples who have achieved success in their second marriages in her new book, Successful Second Marriages. Bubash was inspired to find the formula for a successful second marriage as a result of the failure of her own second marriage, motivated to look for the secrets to what it takes to make it work and share her findings with the world, using her own pain to help others.

Bubash's discoveries are written from an open-hearted, transparent point of view that is accessible to readers and gives them the sense of reading something far more personal than your traditional "self-help" book. She has the courage to admit that she, too, is human, which few in the professional counseling field do, endearing her to readers and making the book more personal and less clinical than others of its genre, helping her readers to learn from both her own mistakes and from the successes of others.

Second marriages have more hurdles to overcome than first marriages as a result of the emotional baggage accrued in the first relationship. Bubash addresses a wide range of issues through the stories told, including: dealing with in-laws, dealing with exes, and dealing with each other's children. Instead of focusing on why second marriages fail, Bubash instead focuses on what could help make the marriage working, citing the primary difference between success and failure in these relationships a "strong commitment to the relationship, determination, hard work, and a thorough and often painful look at what didn't work in the first marriage."

As Patricia Bubash prepared to tie the knot for the third time, her father asked her to do him a favor, to "Please make this one the last," which is what inspired her to explore the topic of successful marriages after the first, steadfastly resolving to make this marriage her last and help others to do the same. Successful Second Marriages is a must-read for anyone who is preparing to walk down the aisle for the second time (or, like Elizabeth Taylor, the eighth time) or is struggling to make their second marriage work, giving them the guiding hand that they need to navigate the waters of a successful second marriage. No matter how many times you have said "I do," Bubash's advice is indispensable.